How to Grow Old 論老之將至

In spite of the title，this article will really be on how not to grow old，which，at my time of life，is a much more important subject. My first advice would be to choose your ancestors carefully. Although both my parents died young，I have done well in this respect as regards my other ancestors. My maternal grandfather，it is true，was cut off in the flower of his youth at the age of sixty-seven，but my other three grandparents all lived to be over eighty. Of remote ancestors I can only discover one who did not live to a great age，and he died of a disease which is now rare，namely，having his head cut off. A great-grandmother of mine，who was a friend of Gibbon，lived to the age of ninety-two，and to her last day remained a terror to all her descendants. My maternal grandmother，after having nine children who survived，one who died in infancy，and many miscarriages，as soon as she became a widow devoted herself to women‘s higher education. She was one of the founders of Girton College，and worked hard at opening the medical profession to women. She used to relate how she met in Italy an elderly gentleman who was looking very sad. She inquired the cause of his melancholy and he said that he had just parted from his two grandchildren.“Good gracious，”she exclaimed，“I have seventy-two grandchildren，and if I were sad each time I parted from one of them，I should have a dismal existence!”“Madre snaturale，”he replied. But speaking as one of the seventy-two，I prefer her recipe. After the age of eighty she found she had some difficulty in getting to sleep，so she habitually spent the hours from midnight to 3 a.m. in reading popular science. I do not believe that she ever had time to notice that she was growing old. This，I think，is the proper recipe for remaining young. If you have wide and keen interests and activities in which you can still be effective，you will have no reason to think about the merely statistical fact of the number of years you have already lived，still less of the probable brevity of your future.
As regards health，I have nothing useful to say since I have little experience of illness. I eat and drink whatever I like，and sleep when I cannot keep awake. I never do anything whatever on the ground that it is good for health，though in actual fact the things I like doing are mostly wholesome.
Psychologically there are two dangers to be guarded against in old age. One of these is undue absorption in the past. It does not do to live in memories，in regrets for the good old days，or in sadness about friends who are dead. One‘s thoughts must be directed to the future，and to things about which there is something to be done. This is not always easy;one’s own past is a gradually increasing weight. It is easy to think to oneself that one‘s emotions used to be more vivid than they are，and one’s mind more keen. If this is true it should be forgotten，and if it is forgotten it will probably not be true.
The other thing to be avoided is clinging to youth in the hope of sucking vigor from its vitality. When your children are grown up they want to live their own lives，and if you continue to be as interested in them as you were when they were young，you are likely to become a burden to them，unless they are unusually callous. I do not mean that one should be without interest in them，but one‘s interest should be contemplative and，if possible，philanthropic，but not unduly emotional. Animals become indifferent to their young as soon as their young can look after themselves，but human beings，owing to the length of infancy，find this difficult.
I think that a successful old age is easier for those who have strong impersonal interests involving appropriate activities. It is in this sphere that long experience is really fruitful，and it is in this sphere that the wisdom born of experience can be exercised without being oppressive. It is no use telling grown-up children not to make mistakes，both because they will not believe you，and because mistakes are an essential part of education. But if you are one of those who are incapable of impersonal interests，you may find that your life will be empty unless you concern yourself with your children and grandchildren. In that case you must realize that while you can still render them material services，such as making them an allowance or knotting them jumpers，you must not expect that they will enjoy your company.
Some old people are oppressed by the fear of death. In the young there is a justification for this feeling. Young men who have reason to fear that they will be killed in a battle may justifiably feel bitter in the thought that they have been cheated of the best things that life has to offer. But in an old man who has known human joys and sorrows，and has achieved whatever work it was in him to do，the fear of death is somewhat abject and ignoble. The best way to overcome it——so at least it seems to me——is to make your interests gradually wider and more impersonal，until bit by bit the walls of the the ego recede，and your life becomes increasingly merged in the universal life. An individual human existence should be like a river——small at first，narrowly contained within its banks，and rushing passionately past rocks and over waterfalls. Gradually the river grows wider，the banks recede，the waters flow more quietly，and in the end，without any visible break，they become merged in the sea，and painlessly lose their individual being. The man who，in old age，can see his life in this way，will not suffer form the fear of death，since the things he cares for will continue. And if，with the decay of vitality，weariness increases，the thought of rest will not be unwelcome. I should wish to die while still at work，knowing that others will carry on what I can no longer do，and content in the thought that what was possible has been done.
論老之將至
雖然有這樣一個(gè)標(biāo)題，這篇文章真正要談的卻是怎樣才能不老。在我這個(gè)年紀(jì)，這實(shí)在是一個(gè)至關(guān)重要的問題。我的第一個(gè)忠告是，要仔細(xì)選擇你的祖先。盡管我的雙親皆屬早逝，但是考慮到我的其他祖先，我的選擇還是很不錯(cuò)的。是的，我的外祖父六十七歲時(shí)去世，正值盛年，可是另外三位祖父輩的親人都活到八十歲以上。至于稍遠(yuǎn)些的親戚，我只發(fā)現(xiàn)一位沒能長壽的，他死于一種現(xiàn)已罕見的病癥：被殺頭。我的一位曾祖母是吉本的朋友，她活到九十二歲高齡，一直到死，她始終是讓子孫們?nèi)�都感到敬畏的人。我的外祖母，一輩子生了十個(gè)孩子，活了九個(gè)，還有一個(gè)早年夭折，此外還有過多次流產(chǎn)。可是守寡以后，她馬上就致力于婦女的高等教育事業(yè)。她是格頓學(xué)院的創(chuàng)辦人之一，力圖使婦女進(jìn)入醫(yī)療行業(yè)。她總好講起她在意大利遇到過的一位面容悲哀的老年紳士。她詢問他憂郁的緣故，他說他剛剛同兩個(gè)孫兒女分手。“天哪!”她叫道，“我有七十二個(gè)孫兒孫女，如果我每次分手就要悲傷不已，那我早就沒法活了!”“奇怪的母親。”他回答說。但是，作為她的七十二個(gè)孫兒孫女的一員，我卻要說我更喜歡她的見地。上了八十歲，她開始感到有些難以入睡，她便經(jīng)常在午夜時(shí)分至凌晨三時(shí)這段時(shí)間里閱讀科普方面的書籍。我想她根本就沒有功夫去留意她在衰老。我認(rèn)為，這就是保持年輕的最佳方法。如果你的興趣和活動(dòng)既廣泛又濃烈，而且你又能從中感到自己仍然精力旺盛，那么你就不必去考慮你已經(jīng)活了多少年這種純粹的統(tǒng)計(jì)學(xué)情況，更不必去考慮你那也許不很長久的未來。
至于健康，由于我這一生幾乎從未患過病，也就沒有什么有益的忠告。我吃喝均隨心所欲，醒不了的時(shí)候就睡覺。我做事情從不以它是否有益健康為依據(jù)，盡管實(shí)際上我喜歡做的事情通常都是有益健康的。
從心理角度講，老年需防止兩種危險(xiǎn)。一是過分沉湎于往事。人不能生活在回憶當(dāng)中，不能生活在對(duì)美好往昔的懷念或?qū)θナ赖挠讶说陌�念之中。一個(gè)人應(yīng)當(dāng)把心思放在未來，放到需要自己去做點(diǎn)什么的事情上。要做到這一點(diǎn)并非輕而易舉，往事的影響總是在不斷增加。人們總好認(rèn)為自己過去的情感要比現(xiàn)在強(qiáng)烈得多，頭腦也比現(xiàn)在敏銳。假如真的如此，就該忘掉它;而如果可以忘掉它，那你自以為是的情況就可能并不是真的。
另一件應(yīng)當(dāng)避免的事是依戀年輕人，期望從他們的勃勃生氣中獲取力量。子女們長大成人以后，都想按照自己的意愿生活。如果你還想象她們年幼時(shí)那樣關(guān)心他們，你就會(huì)成為他們的包袱，除非她們是異常遲鈍的人。我不是說不應(yīng)該關(guān)心子女，而是說這種關(guān)心應(yīng)該是含蓄的，假如可能的話，還應(yīng)是寬厚的，而不應(yīng)該過分地感情用事。動(dòng)物的幼子一旦自立，大動(dòng)物就不再關(guān)心它們了。人類則因其幼年時(shí)期較長而難于做到這一點(diǎn)。
我認(rèn)為，對(duì)于那些具有強(qiáng)烈的愛好，其活動(dòng)又都恰當(dāng)適宜、并且不受個(gè)人情感影響的人們，成功地度過老年決非難事。只有在這個(gè)范圍里，長壽才真正有益;只有在這個(gè)范圍里，源于經(jīng)驗(yàn)的智慧才能得到運(yùn)用而不令人感到壓抑。告誡已經(jīng)成人的孩子別犯錯(cuò)誤是沒有用處的，因?yàn)橐粊硭麄儾粫?huì)相信你，二來錯(cuò)誤原本就是教育所必不可少的要素之一。但是，如果你是那種受個(gè)人情感支配的人，你就會(huì)感到，不把心思都放在子女和孫兒女身上，你就會(huì)覺得生活很空虛。假如事實(shí)確是如此，那么你必須明白，雖然你還能為他們提供物質(zhì)上的幫助，比如支援他們一筆錢或者為他們編織毛線外套的時(shí)候，決不要期望他們會(huì)因?yàn)槟愕呐惆槎�感到快樂�?br /> 有些老人因害怕死亡而苦惱。年輕人害怕死亡是可以理解的。有些年輕人擔(dān)心他們會(huì)在戰(zhàn)斗中喪身。一想到會(huì)失去生活能夠給予他們的種種美好事務(wù)，他們就感到痛苦。這種擔(dān)心并不是無緣無故的，也是情有可原的。但是，對(duì)于一位經(jīng)歷了人世的悲歡、履行了個(gè)人職責(zé)的老人，害怕死亡就有些可憐且可恥了。克服這種恐懼的最好辦法是——至少我是這樣看的——逐漸擴(kuò)大你的興趣范圍并使其不受個(gè)人情感的影響，直至包圍自我的圍墻一點(diǎn)一點(diǎn)地離開你，而你的生活則越來越融合于大家的生活之中。每一個(gè)人的生活都應(yīng)該象河水一樣——開始是細(xì)小的，被限制在狹窄的兩岸之間，然后熱烈地沖過巨石，滑下瀑布。漸漸地，河道變寬了，河岸擴(kuò)展了，河水流得更平穩(wěn)了。最后，河水流入了海洋，不再有明顯的間斷和停頓，而后便毫無痛苦地?cái)[脫了自身的存在。能夠這樣理解自己一生的老人，將不會(huì)因害怕死亡而痛苦，因?yàn)樗�所珍愛的一切都將繼續(xù)存在下去。而且，如果隨著精力的衰退，疲倦之感日漸增加，長眠并非是不受歡迎的念頭。我渴望死于尚能勞作之時(shí)，同時(shí)知道他人將繼續(xù)我所未竟的事業(yè)，我大可因?yàn)橐呀?jīng)盡了自己之所能而感到安慰。